


Loaded Chamber

by FailureArtist



Category: Homestuck
Genre: Alternate Timeline, Bad Sex, Forevver Alone, M/M, The Veil, intercourse
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2011-12-23
Updated: 2011-12-23
Packaged: 2017-10-27 22:42:15
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Underage
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,392
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/300827
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/FailureArtist/pseuds/FailureArtist
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Eridan finds out that just because you can get someone doesn't mean you should.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Loaded Chamber

Among trolls there is a simple but fascinating game called Cyberian Spinning Death. It takes only a revolver and a single bullet (thought battle dice can also be used). You put the bullet in a chamber, spin the cylinder, point the gun at your head (or at the head of your commanding officer), and pull the trigger.  The player of this game puts his life in the hands of fate. That was Eridan’s strategy in love. He would take aim at everyone he knew and eventually he’d managed to hit someone.

 

Sure, it hadn’t actually worked for him yet. He’d asked Feferi out in the wrong quadrant, Vriska had been the one to court him before she grew bored, Nepeta flat-out rejected him, and nobody in the block would auspictize him and Sollux. Still, even though he had exhausted his session’s patience there were still the other session.

 

He’d just had a blast of luck from the Seer of Light when there was another explosion behind him. He turned around to see a black smear where Aradia used to be. Sollux had taken off his stupid glasses and was crying like a wriggler. Equius had fallen on his knees and had robot parts in his arms like he thought he could just put her back together. Everyone who’d previously been watching Eridan turned to this new event. Gamzee honked a second time, Feferi was glubbing uncontrollable, and Nepeta was mewling under her breath. Suddenly, Equius stood up, dumped the robot parts on the floor, and stomped onto the pad, and disappeared. Nepeta looked at him go and started to follow when she stopped, and apparently changing her mind, decided to go back to sleep for some strange reason.

 

Eridan decided now that Equius had lost his matesprit it was his chance to scoop him up. Equius was on the rebound, and if he knew anything about being on the rebound it made you feel a desperate need to never be lonely again. Equius had to fall into the pitying arms of a troll much better than his rustblood robot.

 

Eridan quickly rushed to the transportalizer and managed to catch Equius before he went to his area. Equius turned at the sound of his footsteps. His stance was so aggressive toward his superior it made Eridan feel a little angry, though even he would never dare be waxen for the super-strong troll. 

 

“What is it, purpleblood,” Equius asked flatly.

 

Eridan answered, “W-well, I thought now that you don’t hawe a matesprit you might w-want someone by your side to pity you.”

 

“I have a moirail already.”

 

He smirked a little. “I talkin’ about red, not pale.”

 

Equius reared his head. “That would be most improper! I am still in mourning for her.”

 

“How-w about w-when you get ower it?”

 

Equius turned around. “I could never be with you. The seadwellers can never be with the landdwellers.”

 

That sounded like fucking bullshit even to the racist Eridan, but it gave him an idea.

 

“I order ya to!”

 

Equius turned back around.

 

“Pardon?”

 

Eridan pointed at himself. “As your superior I order ya to be flushed for me!”

 

He suddenly cringed, waiting for a beating, when Equius’ stance changed. He stepped backwards, bowed a little to hide his height, and held his hands to his front. Eridan noted this was clearly a submissive pose.

 

Equius said, “My prince, I am eX-tremly flushed for you.”

 

Eridan’s jaw almost dropped. His plan had worked! If he had known he could have done it a long time ago, but it was serendipitous he had made this discovery after his rival exploded. Perhaps this was his power as the Prince of Hope. He had kept hope alive and this was his reward!

 

“I hawe a matesprit! I finally hawe an fuckin’ matesprit!”

 

He started pumping his fists and actually started dancing a little. His eyes widen as a new thought came to him.

 

“I w-won’t be a wirgin anymore.”

 

Equius asked, “Won’t be a virgin?”

 

Eridan turned back to look at Equius. “Yah, w-we could hawe sex and I’d lose my wirginity! My red wirginity!”

 

“Right now?”

 

“W-why not right now-w? W-we hawe to liwe in the moment! Our liwes are in danger! Do you w-want to die a wirgin?” He looked at Equius’ face and had disturbing thoughts about the Aradiabot. “Do you w-want to die before consummatin’ our lowe?”

 

Equius nodded his head. “EX-cellent reasoning, matesprit. We should gallop onward to the neXt step of our relationship.”

 

“Yes, w-we shall sw-wim on!” Eridan declared as he threw off his cape.

 

Equius pointed to his pad. “My area would be best for our consummation. I have equipment already there.”

 

Eridan barreled past Equius and stepped on the sagittarius pad. Equius soon followed. With Eridan behind him, he walked down a hallway to a terminal. He typed something into the keyboard and a door opened from nowhere. They entered the block.

 

In the middle of the bit-too-large block was a piece of metal furniture that looked like an examining table. There were stirrups by the feet, cuffs by the head, and the table was propped up into a sitting position. Eridan looked over at it and almost touched the cold metal. There was a filial pail embedded where the crotch was, so it probably wasn’t just for medical purposes. He wondered why Equius had something like this and more importantly why the hell he brought it to the Veil.

 

 “This is so my STRENGTH won’t hurt you,” Equius explained.

 

Eridan cringed. Having sex with the super-strong troll would be very dangerous. He hoped the metal would hold him back.

 

Equius started undressing. He slipped off his cleats, pulled his now totally wet matebeater over his head, and undid the snaps on his also wet shorts, and took those off. He stood before Eridan in only stockings and a jock strap. Eridan looked the muscular troll over. He knew he should have been turned on by his perfect body, but he just felt a bit grossed out. He just looked bulky and awkward and too veiny. Eridan realized that his physical ideal for males was graceful slenderness, perhaps even a little skinniness. Well, maybe even that could be fixed with a no-milk diet.

 

Eridan realized that he should get undressed too and started to do that. He took off his shoes and socks and pants but when he got to his upper body he stopped. It wasn’t that he was ashamed of his chest. He’d gotten a lot of exercise during the game and he didn’t even need his corset anymore. It was his neck that worried him. He’d hide his deformed neck gills from everyone, even Feferi, and he was afraid to show the landdweller he was a poor specimen for his race. So he took off his scarf but left on his turtleneck. Equius could find out later.

 

Eridan looked at his silk nautical-themed boxers and at Equius’ jockstrap. They looked at each other and there was an unspoken agreement they should take them off at the same time. Eridan dropped his boxer and looked over to see Equius’ bone bulge. It was as huge as he’d expected from the ponyboy and then some. Eridan suppressed his surprise. He didn’t want Equius to think he was that impressed. It wasn’t like his bone bulge was that bad. Vriska never said anything bad about it, and she could see through clothes. And his was a little hard just from the excitement of getting laid, while Equius was totally flaccid.

 

Equius put a towel on the table, sat down on it, and put his legs in the stirrups. He put his hands in the cuffs, pressed a button near his right hand and restraints came to lock his hands and feet. He looked at Eridan, his eyes still shaded but he definitely was waiting for something. Eridan slowly walked up to him, step by step. He looked at his new matesprit, strapped to a strange table and ready for sex, and it suddenly dawned on him that he really really didn’t want to have sex with this troll. He wasn’t attracted to him and he didn’t even love him. He just wanted to leave him and his creepy bondage device alone. But Eridan wasn’t one to back down on something just because it was a horrible mistake. He was going to lose his virginity to him.

 

He put his hand on Equius’ thigh. Equius was still flaccid but his spread-open nook was so lubricated his thighs were wet with that and sweat. Eridan took off his rings and put a finger in there and quickly took it out. A bead dripped down from the finger. He stroked his own bone bulge, not looking at Equius but at it. It wasn’t bad. It could certainly grow, though it wasn’t growing now. He pressed his body against Equius’. The nice thing about the filthy peasantbloods were they could be quite warm, which was a good thing since the block was a bit chilly. Eridan took his hands and stroked his and Equius’ bone bulge together. Equius immediately started growling with pleasure. The poor guy probably couldn’t touch himself without bruising, Eridan thought. Eridan stared at the growing bone bulge. He wondered how it would feel to have it in your nook and the thought gave him more pleasure than he was willing to admit. Equius was soon rock-hard though it stayed the same length. A shower not a grower, Eridan thought smugly.

 

Eridan pulled back and looked at himself. He wasn’t very hard. He looked at Equius’ nook and knew he expected something other than frottage. He was dying for Eridan’s wand. The blueblood was so damn submissive he sweatly submitted to a lowblood midget. It was natural for him to bottom for his superior. Eridan always figured he would do the same if he’d ever managed to get Feferi. His fantasies about that wonderful event were hampered by his courtly feelings for the princess and for some reason they turned to her Ancestor and her rumored tentacles and things got weird from there. He closed his eyes and thought unpatriotic thoughts about the Empress as he rapidly stroked himself to full length.

 

He pulled himself up again onto Equius and kissed him again. The kiss was like an empty beaker, no chemistry. Cursing the limitations of science Eridan went back down. He decided to take the plunge. He slide his hard-enough bone bulge into his more-than-wet-enough nook. It was much easier penetrating him than it should have been for a male virgin nook (was he really a virgin?). He stood still for a moment, just taking in the feeling of being enveloped by flesh. Wasn’t it suppose to feel great being inside your lover?  But while it felt nice and warm like it should but it felt gross like it shouldn’t.

 

Eridan started thrusting into Equius, trying to get back some of the hardness he lost. Equius’s nook responded by clenching down and Eridan was relieved to find it wasn’t as vice-like as he feared. His gripping could have been stronger though. Equius’ nook was as big as his other set of genitals. Fucking him was like watching oblong meat products tumble where they didn’t belong. Between his legs was the Land of Caves and Silence. Eridan was the Heir to this Void.

 

Equius seemed to feel it. He was panting and grunting and even whinnying a little. Eridan wished he would remain quiet. Eridan wanted to pretend he wasn’t in the block and that he was with someone else. He concentrated on a genocidal wizard he liked before his thoughts turned to the girl he was truly flushed for: Feferi Peixes. He imagined Feferi’s thighs were around his bone bulge, her long feet on his shoulders, stroking his face fins and glubbing about something sweet and silly and overly-pale. Even with this beautiful fantasy he was having difficulty keeping this up. The reality of the situation kept coming up. All he could smell was Equius and all he could hear was Equius.

 

Eridan banged harder and wildly. He thrust upwards into a nice fleshy part deep into that empty nook. Every once in a while he pulled out to stroke himself back to full mast. He started crying, actually crying, from frustration and shame. He pulled off his glasses and wiped his eyes with his wet sleeve but the tears kept coming. He needed to just make Equius come but it felt like it was taken hours. He started rubbing the head of Equius’ bone bulge to make it go faster.

 

Eventually, Eridan felt Equius’ nook pulse rapidly. With a mighty roar his nook started oozing genetic material. Eridan pulled out quickly and went to finish himself off. After half a minute his purple seed joined the blue. He stumbled backwards and stared at the ceiling. It was over.

 

He turned around and walked back to his clothes. He mechanically put them back on. Equius pushed the button and was released from his bonds. He took out a towel and started wiping himself. When Eridan had put on everything except his shoe, scarf, and glasses he slowly turned around and looked through Equius.

 

“I’m shorey, I need to be abalone,” he punned flatly.

 

Eridan shuffled away without his missing items. Previously he had planned on maybe seeing if he could auspictize between the Witch and the Fake Witch as a fall-back romance but now all he wanted to do was find a shower and sit in it until the Demon came.

 

Equius gave a long sigh. The sex had been excruciating. There was no foreplay, his bone bulge was too small, and he had even sobbed without shame. He lifted his eyes in prayer to Aradia. He asked her forgiveness for his infidelity and thanked her for helping him through it. It was only by imagining her athletic body he’d been able to keep himself aroused. It seemed Eridan had bought his over-the-top reaction and didn’t notice how thin his genetic material was. It would all be worth it if the lecherous seatroll, finally satiated, stayed away from his beloved moirail.

 

To think the purpleblood actually thought you could order someone to love you! Love was too important for that.


End file.
